Tuesday, April 18, 2006

All hail the Thetans, Opus Dei & band-wagon jumping

Not that I'm one to jump onto a band-wagon, of course, but seeing as all the tabloids can't seem to get enough of Tom Cruise and his Scientologist buddies I figured I should say something. I mean hey, if Chef from South Park is a Scientologist, then there's got to be something to it!

Interesting article in the Independent about Ron Hubbards cult, sorry, I meant legitimate religion that offers spiritual guidance and doesn't at all fleece people out of their hard earned wages.

Celebrities are notorious for band-wagon jumping and love nothing more than to pronounce that they are now followers of whatever hip spiritual teachings are "in" this year (I believe the current one is Kabbalah), but with Scientology it really is something different. I mean Cruise has been a member for donkeys years, while Travolta was willing to star in and part-finance Battlefield Earth.

But hey... I shouldn't really criticise such people for giving all their money to the brain-child of a a talentless hack, like Ron Hubbard should I? I mean I saw the Star Wars prequels far too many times to ever possibly be sane!

Speaking of cults, sorry I meant legitimate religions, Opus Dei have recently issued an open letter asking Sony to put a clear disclaimer on the upcoming movie adaptation of 'The Da Vinci Code', stating that the story is complete work of fiction. When will these people learn, that the easiest way to avoid constant press coverage is to just ignore it completely? Sorry guys... why should you get preferential treatment? I mean Michael Bay didn't have to put a disclaimer on Pearl Harbor that read: "Please be aware that this movie is a complete work of fiction, obviously written by someone who has never even read a book on the subject. Oh and it's a steaming pile of turd too".

Come on guys... loosen that cilice and just chill. It's only a book ;-)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

V for Vendetta

I don't really consider myself a comic book expert. It's only in the last few years that my interest in them has been sparked (thanks George). However, if there is one thing that it doesn't take an expert to know, it's that most movie adaptations of comic books suck ass.

V for Vendetta is a superb comic. Very similar in style to another of Alan Moores greats, Watchmen. Indeed there are many similarities between V and Rorschach. Most importantly, both are very long and complex affairs.

So when the news filtered through that the Wachowskis (of Matrix fame and Matrix 2 & 3 infamy) were planning to make a movie version of V, many people shuddered. How could they possibly bring to life a story in which the titular character is a brutal terrorist without having to water the story down due to political/war on terror/9-11 sensitivities? How can they possibly be true to a 300 page book without having to cut vast swathes of it out? With these thoughts in mind, coupled with some pretty awful looking trailers and the fact that author Alan Moore has disowned this and every movie version of his work to date, I prepared myself for the worst.

And yet... every now and then a movie comes along that genuinely throws out your preconceptions. V for Vendetta is a very good film in it's own right. At times clumsy and disjointed, it still offers a brilliant antedote to the current climate of fear we now live in.

How did the Wachowskis achieve it? Well, it's true that they have cut out some large parts of the book and fans of the comic may find themself miffed that quite a few characters either miss out on any meaty screen-time or just plain aren't there. Similarly, elements of the story are moved around, in an effort to exploit the cinematic medium to full effect. Bizarrely, none of the changes really bothered me. The central essence of the story is there and as such the film does not pander to peoples political sensitivities.

Like Lord of the Rings, the film-makers have taken a strong story and changed it to fit it's audience, and because of this it works on so many levels. Every incarnation of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is different than the last, but they are all worthy in their own right. The same can be said of V. It is dark, gritty and a little far-fetched, but it pulls no punches offering a World in which none of the main characters are 'Hollywood good guys'.

The downside is that anomoly of acting, Natalie Portman. How an actress can go from being truly stunning in Closer to God-awful in Star Wars can only be down to one of two things - the Director or the actresses desire and connection to the material. Portmans performance in V is truly awful. For the majority of the film she seems to be struggling with the accent (which varies between stoic brit and Aussie soap star) so much that most of her lines are delivered without thought or feeling. Only during a harrowing spell in a prison cell does she offer glimpses of her real ability.

When you consider that the majority of the story is told through Eveys (Portmans) eyes, it is a wonder that the film survives. However, thanks to a brilliant story and the performances of the other actors it not only held my interest, but had me willing on anarchy at every turn. Roger Allam puts in a great performance as the truly hateful Prothero while Hugo Weaving plays the man in the mask with great subtlety.

Is summary, it isn't polished but V for Vendetta really does delivery that rarest of things; a Hollywood movie that does not conform to type and goes some way toward killing off the memory of the Wachowskis Matrix sequels. Strong performances from Stephen Fry, Roger Allam and Hugo Weaving, while John Hurt is suitably evil as the Tory MP who turned Fascist. The story has been carefully updated to exploit our current fears about the war on terror and bird flu, without ramming it down the viewers throats. Great fun.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Lucas comic

Classic strip, which might explain why the SW prequels sucked.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Whedon on Serenifly

Muchos rumours have been flying around recently about a possible return of Serenity/Firefly in one form or another. It all started when several cast members were (apparently) seen leaving the CW studio offices. This was followed by further rumours that the cast and Joss Whedon had signed on to make either a TV show, mini-series or TV-movie.

Well not one to stay quiet for long, the man has quashed all rumours in his own quirky style.

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Abusing links is the only way I know how to live. But I am here with a purpose, my friends. Call me joss Whedon: Rumor Crusher! (Or "Mister Fendendo", if we're being intimate.)

Since everyone's all abuzz with the CW rumor, I have to get all official and say: WE'VE STARTED FILMING NEW EPISODES! Of Dateline. I'm such a troll.

No, there haven't been any overtures from the CW as regards a SereniFly spin-off. I haven't even heard the orchestra tuning up. But if they happen to come calling, I do know what I would do:

1) In order to keep the show cost efficient, we would get rid of a few things we don't need, like spaceships, floors, and Jewel. (You thought I was gonna say 'costumes', didn't you? Porn guy.)

2) Nathan is busy making movies, but since I don't want new cast members, everybody in the cast would just move over one. Jewel (she's back!) would play Mal, Ron would play Kaylee, Morena would play Book, and so on.

3) People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.

4) The actors can make up their dialogue. I'm bushed, and they're all funny, and the hell with it. Maybe I'll give them a premise to work off of, like "You're all in trouble" or "Wash has a thing". They could maybe light it too.

5) Klingons, but not alien Klingons. But still Klingons.

So already the show is running like a well oiled companion. I'm just proud to be a part of the Country Western network, and I know this will be their biggest hit since "Have Space-Gun, Will Travel."

I hope, as always, this clears things up. And I hope the executives at the Carnie Wilson network DO give me a call. I've got a million ideas for redoing their offices.

Power to the people who are powerful enough to crush the other people! -jossy.

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The man's a genius... give him 100 beeeeeeeeeeeeeelion dollars and let him make his damn show!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Alien found in attic

Classic article in the Guardian for all you Roswell conspiracy theorists out there.

Goddam weather balloon!