Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Whedon on Serenifly

Muchos rumours have been flying around recently about a possible return of Serenity/Firefly in one form or another. It all started when several cast members were (apparently) seen leaving the CW studio offices. This was followed by further rumours that the cast and Joss Whedon had signed on to make either a TV show, mini-series or TV-movie.

Well not one to stay quiet for long, the man has quashed all rumours in his own quirky style.

Abusing links is the only way I know how to live. But I am here with a purpose, my friends. Call me joss Whedon: Rumor Crusher! (Or "Mister Fendendo", if we're being intimate.)

Since everyone's all abuzz with the CW rumor, I have to get all official and say: WE'VE STARTED FILMING NEW EPISODES! Of Dateline. I'm such a troll.

No, there haven't been any overtures from the CW as regards a SereniFly spin-off. I haven't even heard the orchestra tuning up. But if they happen to come calling, I do know what I would do:

1) In order to keep the show cost efficient, we would get rid of a few things we don't need, like spaceships, floors, and Jewel. (You thought I was gonna say 'costumes', didn't you? Porn guy.)

2) Nathan is busy making movies, but since I don't want new cast members, everybody in the cast would just move over one. Jewel (she's back!) would play Mal, Ron would play Kaylee, Morena would play Book, and so on.

3) People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.

4) The actors can make up their dialogue. I'm bushed, and they're all funny, and the hell with it. Maybe I'll give them a premise to work off of, like "You're all in trouble" or "Wash has a thing". They could maybe light it too.

5) Klingons, but not alien Klingons. But still Klingons.

So already the show is running like a well oiled companion. I'm just proud to be a part of the Country Western network, and I know this will be their biggest hit since "Have Space-Gun, Will Travel."

I hope, as always, this clears things up. And I hope the executives at the Carnie Wilson network DO give me a call. I've got a million ideas for redoing their offices.

Power to the people who are powerful enough to crush the other people! -jossy.


The man's a genius... give him 100 beeeeeeeeeeeeeelion dollars and let him make his damn show!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Thursday, February 02, 2006

OMG Gimme Gimme Gimme!!

I have got to get me one of these!

And at only £1800 (with FREE delivery), I'd be a fool not to!

Having said that, you'd have thought the manufacturers could have installed a flat screen LCD panel, instead of the traditional CRT. I mean, I'm all for retro, but I have a reputation to uphold here ;-)

The first bit of gloss is wiped off Google

I suppose it was only a matter of time. A company that prides itself on being moral and 'anti-microsoft' is a great idea, but balancing the needs and demands of the people, shareholders, governments is perhaps harder than the mighty Google creators realised.

Only a week after taking the moral high ground over handing over search records to the US government, Google are now immersed in a controversy following their agreement to censor results on the Google china site (search for Tiananmen Square on and on to see what I mean).

Meanwhile, Google shareholders are counting their losses after $13bn was wiped off their stock value in a single days trading.

What all this leads me to wondering is, how long it will be before Google are forced to choose between the mega-bucks and the desire to be ultra-ethical?